RIP, my dear Jujube. You will forever hold a sacred space in my heart. You were the greatest gift to come into my life, especially when I was at my darkest hour, lost in a sea of confusion. Together, we grew and learned how to trust again, allowing ourselves to be nurtured, loved, and supported by one another. Your love was a lifeline that pulled me out of the depths of my own pain.
I still cry every time I come home and you’re not there, eagerly running up to my car to greet me after a long day. I keep looking up from the couch, hoping to see your sweet little face peeking through the front door window. And when I don’t, I cry. I cry from the overflowing love I have for you. I cry for not being there when you transitioned. I cry for the emptiness your absence leaves in my life. I cry for all the grief and the deep ache that lingers in my heart.
Today, amidst this grief, I found myself battling a small army of yellow jackets inside my home, and for the life of me, I couldn’t figure out how they were getting in. Hours passed as I tried to keep my cool while swatting at these relentless little warriors. I knew I needed to get calm and still enough to hear, see, and sense where they were coming from. Isn’t that such a reflection of our healing journey? Can I release of my anger, fear, doubt, and worry to connect with God Source and my higher self, and finally see the solution? Isn’t this the true test of time on our healing journey?
As I stood there, watching those yellow jackets flitting around, I realized they were like little messengers buzzing about my inner state of mind. Yellow jackets, despite their reputation, carry a powerful message about releasing. Just as they build their nests with great effort and then abandon them when the season changes, they remind us that life is a series of cycles—of holding on and releasing. And here I am, after losing my sweet fur baby, trying to navigate this sea of grief, wondering if I, too, can let go. Can I release this pain, these old emotions that no longer serve me, and open myself to the peace that comes with surrender?
Jujube, you were more than a companion; you were one of my greatest teachers. You guided me through so many layers of my emotions. You showed me how, when we’ve been hurt, we often push love away, even when it’s exactly what we need. You taught me that rebuilding trust takes time and that love is always there, waiting to be embraced again if we are ready and willing to allow it. You gave me a deeper understanding of my own inner workings, helping me see through a new lens, beyond my personal pain and experience.
Sometimes, the hardest part of healing is not the pain itself but our attachment to it. The anger, the disbelief, the “why did this happen?” narrative that our minds cling to. It’s like those yellow jackets finding their way in—I can either keep swinging wildly at them (and my emotions), or I can take a deep breath, tune in, and discover where the real openings are. Maybe it’s about allowing myself to feel deeply and then gently releasing what I can’t control. To trust that, just like those yellow jackets, I can find my way out of this maze of emotions and back into the light.
Thank you, Jujube, for all the lessons, all the love, all the laughter, and every precious moment we shared. I am forever changed because of you. Your spirit lives on in my heart, and I will always be grateful for the time we had together. You are so deeply loved, now and always. And today, I’m taking a lesson from the yellow jackets and from you. I’m choosing to release —one breath, one tear, one memory at a time. I’m choosing to honor the space my beloved cat filled in my heart while also making room for what’s next. Because, like the yellow jackets show us, there’s always a new season ahead, and with it, new beginnings.
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